Message:   Joe's favorite Norwegian jokes

From: Joe     Sent: 3 Dec. 2000     Message 1 of 1

Joe's favorite Norwegian jokes

From http://www.dakota.net/~jonchris/norsejokes.html

Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther if you vant to." So Ole drove to Duluth.

Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them the train entered a long, dark tunnel.
"Have yew eaten your banana yet?" asked Ole, excitedly.
"Vell, no! replied Lars.
"Vell don't touch it den!!" Ole exclaimed. "I Just took vun bite and vent blind!!"

Swen was leaning against the fence watching the morning turn into afternoon, when this Irish guy walks by with a wheelbarrow full of manure. Swen asked him "Vat are you gonna do vit dat?"
The Irishman replied, "I'm going to put it on my strawberries."
Swen smiled and said, "Ve Norvegians put sugar on ours."

A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep…that's her!"

Did you hear about the Norwegian woman who had to stop using the pill?
It kept falling out.

Lady (at the Olympics): "Are you a Pole Vaulter?"
Norwegian: "No...I'm a Norwegian...and my name ain't Valter."

What do Eric the Red and Smokey the Bear all have in common?
They have the same middle name.

The Norse god Thor decided to become a mortal for a while and went down to earth. He met a beautiful girl and they spent the evening together. In the morning Thor decided to reveal his identity to the woman. "I'm Thor" he said.
"You're thor!" she said, "Lithen buthter, I'm tho thor I can hardly thit down!"

A Norwegian woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The French woman came in first, the English woman second. The Norwegian woman reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but I tink those other two girls used their arms."