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Message: How do you know when to give up?

From: locomotion Sent: 27 Dec. 2000 Message 1 of 5

I have been fisting my wife for about a year on a simi regular basis. I have a few toys we use now and then that are 9" O.D. and that seems to be all she can take. Is it possible for her to strech more? I have tried to add to it with no luck. I know there is no room on the sides, my only hope is her pelvic floor. So I guess my question is when do you know the limit is reached?

From: zappaz1 Sent: 28 Dec. 2000 Message 2 of 5

locomotion,

Because you can already fist your wife, it is possible she is close to her maximum now. That depends on a lot of things. Remember that nobody can exceed the size of their boney opening, and for some women that can be rather small. New stretching requires consideration of any possible contraindications to doing it, and Kegel exercises should be considered if maximum size is a goal (see the archives here).

Perineal massage is often used for new stretching.. as are various other methods mentioned elsewhere on this site. Naturally there should be no pain involved and just infrequent stretching sometimes is not effective. In fact, sometimes the ability to stretch can become less if not practiced much. For many women who do not have a large pelvis, the size of a baby's head they have delivered may be their maximum attainable size. Naturally those with a very huge pelvis are more suitable for very huge stretching. Just remember each individual has their unique limits (and what is pleasant for them is primary).

Good luck and study the archives here to get more ideas.

From: locomotion Sent: 29 Dec. 2000 Message 3 of 5

Thanks zapaz1 I have already read the archives and all things considered I think she is at maximum size. One question though... If she considers a regular stretching session how often should we do it? What may it achieve if I am already 3/8" to her pin bones each side.( approximate )

From: zappaz1 Sent: 29 Dec. 2000 Message 4 of 5

Hi locomotion,

If you are only 3/8" stretching from the pinbones, you may be almost to the maximum stretching limited by the pelvic bones (with only less than 1/2 inch of soft tissues left for maximum stretching). Your wife may have a small pelvis. A common problem with thinking you have reached the bones to the sides is that the bones taper wider downward and backward, so more stretching down and back might allow more distance to the sides. Earlier you mentioned a 9 inch toy as near her maximum and 9/pi is only 2.86 inches across diameter. Many babies heads are 4 or more inches across and I would guess there may be more room. Soft tissues vary greatly and in some women will eventually stretch to the pinbones to the sides.. just as many that have a small pelvis do this at the time of delivery. With a small pelvis, the baby's head can be the same width as the pinbones but still stretch that distance.. often without any tears! Because the reason your wife will not stretch easily is unknown, and I can not tell you as she could have some real contraindication. Most women can attain more distance by using practice twice or more a week.

If you want to try for more, my suggestion would be to avoid any pain and ask a doctor friendly to this subject to review her situation. That may be difficult as most doctors will not advertise that. Many doctors are close-minded and dogmatic about sexual subjects. Scar tissue, fibrosis, age, hormone levels, heredity, radiation therapy, and many many other things can be a problem.

Even though your wife may be petite and have a smaller type pelvis, I notice that almost all the ladies on the commercial sites are of the petite type. However many of them can stretch right out.. to very very close to the size of their relatively small pelvic opening.. LOL I feel sure they practice all the time however.

You may be close to her maximum, however. Remember to avoid any pain. As she is not a patient, I am sorry I can not advise you

From: locomotion Sent: 30 Dec. 2000 Message 5 of 5

Thanks zappaz for the info. I will try to get into it if she allows me on a regular basis.

reguards,
locomotion