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Message: We still need a little help

From: MDMDMD11 Sent: December 14, 1999 Message 1 of 6

After reading alot of stories and other peoples experiences, me and my wife have been trying this sexual adventure. We have done extensive streching on her part and now we have come to a endroad it seems. We have gotten to the point, in her streching in which she can take four fingers comfortably to the knuckles and sometimes when she real hot past that. Now here is the problem, when I make the duckbill formation with my hand it still won't go all the way in. It seems her inner muscular ring won't expand anymore she complains of pain. I am within a inch or inch and a half from my hand being over the largest part. Should we press a little hard to see if something happens or are we just doing something wrong, she is so close from taking my hand. Some please help, thanks.

From: UsManiacs Sent: December 14, 1999 Message 2 of 6

Hi,
I am surprised no one has commented yet, so I will :)
I know for ME (and I am not her) it hurt until he got PAST that muscle, then it felt sooooo good! At 1st I just wanted him to leave his hand in there a minute and let me get used to the feeling. Then I liked when he pulled back against the muscle but not out! Eventually I got to where he could move his hand in and out fully.

Some tips: make sure to use LOTS of lube, keep adding more for each finger and each inch you go in if necessary. It needs to be VERY slippery. Also it helps is she has been worked up with toys first, and had a few orgasms with toys, your hand, mouth or cock or my favorite--all of the above! haha! Then slowly ease your hand in and when it resists, push just a little more slowly, in and out VERY slowly, let HER muscle suck you in. Just have her relax and let her move onto your hand at her own speed. I am sure this is all that is missing :)

Gina Talia

From: Joe-CindyAndJoe Sent: December 15, 1999 Message 3 of 6

Hi,

Despite what Gina says, I would not advise "going for broke" in a situation where your wife complains of pain. My advise would be more slow stretching, even if the progress is very slow.

Can your wife come multiple times? That is a big help in my experience. A woman is able to relax her muscles much better after a good orgasm or preferrably two or three.

Cindy isn't home right now, but I'll try to get her to comment on this later.

Yours,
Joe

From: Cindy-CindyAndJoe Sent: December 15, 1999 Message 4 of 6

Hi,

When Joe was opening me up Joe would push his hand into me until I said "stop" because it was starting to be painful. Then he would keep his hand there for a little while, back off a bit, and then repeat the procedure. We'd keep this up for 5 - 10 minutes, or however much I felt like. (This is explained a bit better in my story "Two Hands Are Almost Enough".)

I think it's very important that your wife is the one who is saying stop and go, and that she really wants to do this. There's a lot of trust involved in fisting, and if the man oversteps the bounds then it will be very hard for the woman to relax, which is a prerequisite for it ever working.

Also, it is very important that your wife is really aroused. So do the things that especially turn her on first before you start the stretching process. The more aroused she is the less pain is a problem. The body actually releases some substance (can't remember what it's called) during sex that suppresses pain (to some extent) and turns it into pleasure.

Have you tried experimenting with different positions? Again, it's your wife who should be indicating what seems to work best for her.

How long have the two of you been doing this?

Try to enjoy the process, and don't focus so much on the goal. The goal will arrive, if you enjoy the (long) journey.

Good luck,
Cindy

From: UsManiacs Sent: December 15, 1999 Message 5 of 6

I agree with Cindy & Joe. I didn't mean to "go for broke" as in force the fist in--that could tear the skin! Actually I hoped to put more emphasis on letting HER do some of the work by moving her hips a bit and wiggling til she finds the right angle where more fits in easily. And also, the more orgasms leading up to that moment the better, as has been said, because it relaxes, lubricates and just plain feels good :)
Gina

From: MDMDMD11 Sent: December 17, 1999 Message 6 of 6

Thanks for all the input, we will keep all of you advised on how its going.Thanks again