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Message: Some problems my wife encounters

From: djones1941 Sent: June 21, 2000 Message 1 of 9

My wife was married to an abusive husband long ago. Her fears are this he once shoved a candle a big one in her and caused some rips and tears. Does this mean that fisting wont ever feel good? and is there a possibility of her gspot being under scar tissue? Also can this reopen the rips and what if any difference will scar tissue make? Thanks Dave and Kathie

P.S. i want to know if there is any possibility of never being able to stretch enough?
Thanks Kathie Daves Wife

From: Joe-CindyAndJoe Sent: June 21, 2000 Message 2 of 9

Dear Kathie and Dave,

There are two problem areas here: a) the possibility of physical problems due to scar tissue, and b) possible psychological problems that may make it difficult for Kathie to ever be able to completely trust any man in certain situations.

Cindy recommends that Kathie talk to a gynecologist and has an examination. You don't need to talk about fisting if that would complicate the issue - and for most gynecologists it probably would. Just talk about discomfort during sex or the possibility of having a baby. Tell about the mistreatment and ask if the scar tissue can be a complicating factor.

The psychological side is perhaps more problematic. For fisting to work it has to be a major goal for BOTH of you, and there has to be a LOT of trust on the part of the woman towards the man. Trust is something that takes time to develop, and Kathie's bad experience may make this trust impossible in situations that remind her of the mistreatment.

Yours,
Joe

From: roythek1 Sent: July 6, 2000 Message 3 of 9

I suspect the psychological problem will be the real difficulty. To be successful and for her to enjoy the experience and pleasures, she will have to be able to relax which the psychological damage may prevent.

From: [unknown] Sent: July 6, 2000 Message 4 of 9

Hi Ya'll..

I will try this again...

I have had 2 children, which ripped me to shreds...I healed long before I ever tried fisting...my first experience with fisting happened about two years ago.

I have only had a couple of problems...inexperienced men...who were in a rush to get their whole hand and elbow inside me...I did have a small amount of bleeding, but it wasn't from a tear!! Just being rubbed raw.

The solution, I found, was gloves and lube and the patience of JOBE!!!! Guys, take you time and enjoy this with you lady...it should be a great thing...multiple orgasms and the whole nine yards and some good fucking throw in too!!

So, go for it, take your time...if it begin to hurt, stop, slow it down, do something else for a while...relax!! If you really want to do this...just take it SLOW!!

From: BAdams22 Sent: July 6, 2000 Message 5 of 9

Good advise....Listen...everyone

From: [unknown] Sent: July 6, 2000 Message 6 of 9

BJ...

Have you ever had this problem?? I have recieved e-mails from other members about this same thing...and I really think it has more to do with rushing the process...rather than how easily a woman can stretch..I'm in it for the great feeling I get from it.
I really love it, and even encourage my partner to push when it is time to do so...I mean I YELL at him!! LOL!! Anyway...I may not be back here..someone is having fun changing my input into discussions...and quite frankly my dear, I'm sick of it!!

Fist 'til it hurts!!

Gayle

From: Cindy-CindyAndJoe Sent: July 12, 2000 Message 7 of 9

> Fist 'til it hurts!!

I guess what you really mean is "fist till just before it hurts" :-)

Don't fist till it hurts - that just makes your body seize up the next time you try it. Unless it's the pain that turns you on?

Cindy

From: Joe-CindyAndJoe Sent: July 12, 2000 Message 8 of 9

> ... men...who were in a rush to get their whole hand and elbow inside me ...

Yes, this can be a problem. But to some extent it is up to you women to instruct us men as to how fast or slow you want it. I know from my own drives that it can be a real turn-on to open the woman up quickly, maybe even "forgetting" about the lubricant. So remember that it's your job to yell at your partner when he goes into overdrive mode :-)

Joe

From: [unknown] Sent: July 12, 2000 Message 9 of 9

Joe...

You are right...and men love it when you tell them how it feels too!! We have to let you men know what is happening with us, so we don't get hurt, and so we get the most pleasure out of the experience.

Cindy...

You are right also...we should never let ourselves get hurt...but, I know that there is always some degree of pain ..a pinch, or a pull against the skin that can hurt.....so, I always say "fist 'til it hurts"...I mean ..stop if it does hurt...I hate pain myself!!

Happy fisting!!