Message:   Thanks for opening the doors

From: Chris & Julie     Sent: 19 Aug. 2002     Message 1 of 3

Dear Joe & Cindy,

Your Website has certainly changed my life! When my husband Chris first showed it to me, I was filled with doubt about my own capability to achieve fisting. I truly thought it was impossible for most women and certainly dangerous. I have never had children or even been pregnant - so I thought fisting could never be a reality for me, or I would perhaps rip something inside. After all, don't they often cut women giving birth? It took a year of sometimes anger & frustration at my inadequacy to please my husband, but with your detailed description of how you trained your body, I was finally able to do it. Last night new feelings of pleasure came for the first time as Chris fisted me.

Standing seems to be the best way for me - I still fight the fear of being hurt - if I'm on my feet, I have the reassurance that I can move myself into a position to keep him from bumping into an uncomfortable spot. We especially enjoy putting on belly dancing music and I climb up on the couch, turn, undulate, and give him oral sex in time to the music without his taking out his fist. Afterwards, his hand is bright red, because I sometimes squeeze as hard as I can, when the music gets exciting. I am glad that I can talk about this to you - I can't ever describe my sex life to others for fear of their disapproval or cruel gossip.

When we have had an exquisite evening of creative fisting dance, we of course want to do it the next night, too. By the third night, alas, I am too sore and tight to be able to do this activity. Is this due to my newness, or is it normal to give my vagina a chance to recuperate?
If so, how often is advisable. I realize that every woman is different, but I think maybe it's dangerous to do it too often.

I know that for me, it was fear and distrust that was my biggest problem. I was totally cramped at first. I had some terrible experiences as a little girl. I expected pain in intercourse. Although I learned to enjoy sex in my late twenties, it was a long uphill battle. Learning to fist is a big physical and psychological triumph. I trust Chris completely, but your instructions convinced me that I could safely learn to fist. I had all sorts of weird concepts of what could happen - such as being rushed to the hospital with Chris's hand stuck due to a spasm. You reassured me and I relaxed and got creative. The ideas come on their own and we certainly have fun trying new positions.

The pictures of Cindy with all those balls in her fired our imagination. Although I can't get nearly the amount of balls in as Cindy can, and I don't want Chris clawing the balls back out (still jumpy about getting hurt), we have a riot when I squat over a pan and "lay eggs". It can get messy when I press them out - even though I go to the toilet before, there can still be an amazing amount of pee when I'm pushing some of those deeply inserted balls out. Having fun and laughing in our sex experiences is also great - I know we are not trying to set any records.

A few months ago, you had a picture of a woman who produced a beer can out of her vagina. I have tried and tried to do the same, but cannot get the can in. Is there a knack to it? Do you push more to the back, or just push evenly? It seems squatting over it and easing myself slowly over the well lubed can would be the ideal way, but so far I can't stretch open enough to get it in. Lying down is also difficult - I still feel too vulnerable if I can't move and Chris does the inserting. We have tried to warm up the vaginal muscles with large dildoes and fisting, but I can't seem to dilate to get that hard wide top into my vagina. Any suggestions?

Thanks again for opening the doors of my mind and body.

Julie