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Message: Fisting survey

From: cookie Sent: 12 Nov. 2004 Message 1 of 39

To all members
Hi there; I asked this question about a year ago and am still wondering. The question was "who initiated fisting into your relationship, the male or female?"Since there are so many new members maybe I can get more responses.In addition I would like to know at what age the ladies first got fisted? Please reply as I'm sure other members would also be interested. Ladies , most of the messages seem to be from the male members,maybe we can hear more from you. Thankyou very much ,Cookie

From: Joe Sent: 12 Nov. 2004 Message 2 of 39

Hi Cookie,

Even though you've indicated that you'd prefer answers from the female members, I'll take a shot at being the first to answer your survey.

Thinking back, I've fisted five women, including Cindy. In all cases I was the one who initiated the fisting, none of the five women had been fisted before (I don't think any of them had even heard of it before), and all of them were in their forties at the time. Four of them (esp. Cindy) liked it, and one thought it was a bit weird but went along with it for my sake.

Joe

From: piercedmetal Sent: 13 Nov. 2004 Message 3 of 39

My partner initiated the fisting in our relationship. She said that her first fisting was at 18

From: ×ºãñgêlº× Sent: 13 Nov. 2004 Message 4 of 39

Hi Cookie ,

In answer to your question first time for me was when i was 20 and i didnt so much as ask for it just got caught up in the heat of the moment and encouraged it. Think i scared the life out of him because he was concerned he would hurt me. He was 19 and was a virgin lol till i corrupted his innocent mind. It was the first time for me also just wanted to try it and i loved it .. I blame porn lol... It helped was very turned on at the time.

Then with my husband or ex as he is now same thing . It turned him on doing it but he had never done it to any of his previous partners.

Me I Love it I have a new man in my life now not sexual at this stage he knows i like fisting he has never mentioned how he feels about it but he is very open minded so we will see .

Angel

From: cookie Sent: 14 Nov. 2004 Message 5 of 39

Thanks for the replies so far. I was the one who initiated fisting into our relationship and I am male. It was just a gradual increasing in the size of toys and veggies and fingers. The first time my fist slide in ,wow,my wife had a tremendous orgasm,(actually so did I),she was about 45 at the time.Although she does not ask to be fisted she does enjoy it on occassions when she is very horny.I love it all the time hahaha. So far it looks like the first time is usually initiated mostly by the man and after that the women encourage it when with other men.I hope more people answer this survey so that we get a better result. Thankyou very much, Cookie

From: Kneebone Sent: 25 Nov. 2004 Message 6 of 39

With every relationship where there's been fisting (and that's a short list), I've always initiated it.

The first time I tried fisting, I was 37, the woman was 21. It was a first time for both of us. I'd been curious about it for some time, and had done my homework. I'd spoken very enthusiastically about it, so she was game to try. Our first night trying it didn't work out, certainly not for lack of trying. We tried it again the very next night, and it was a complete success. Needless to say it became a regular activity for us.

In my current relationship, I'd met her first online and talked the talk. She'd never tried it before, but from the way I described it, she was keen to try. We'd been chatting online and on the phone for about 2 years before finally meeting (long story there) and during her 2 week visit, I fisted her successfully the very first time, and fisted her just about every day/night of her visit. She eventually moved here to be with me (in marriage) and she's admitted that fisting is her favourite sexual activity, and I'm only too glad to fist her. :-)

Jim{ruby}

From: cookie Sent: 25 Nov. 2004 Message 7 of 39

Again thanks for the replies, informative and erotic hahaha. I'm surprized at the young age of some of the ladies, wish I had met some like them when I was younger.I hope more members will also reply, Thanks again ,Cookie

From: Jimm Sent: 30 Nov. 2004 Message 8 of 39

cookie,

I think that who initiates fisting is of little importance because it takes two to do it and it is a mutual activity.

I have sometimes initiated a conversation about it and the female has initiated a desire to try it.

Who ititiated it then becomes mute point hinging on either who mentioned it first, or who asks to try it first... it is just mutual fun.

From: cookie Sent: 2 Dec. 2004 Message 9 of 39

I agree that overall it does not matter who initiated fisting into a relationship. Having said that, I think it is interesting and with today's ideal "that a woman should be small and tight,"it would be a surprize if more women than men did initiate fisting.It would indicate that she was large and liked a large experience . This would almost be the same as a man admitting his penis was tiny and couldn't fill a womans needs. I can understand the reluctance to do either but as I become older and hopefully more mature I can admit I am not all that large and hope more women will learn to say the way they are and what stisfies them.How many times have you heard " it doesn't matter if it's small as long as it's used well"? Well I can agree to that, but if two men use their equipment with equal skill, I think the larger one would be more enjoyable to most women. Any way I don't want anyone to think that I believe it really matters who initiated fisting, I am just interested as a human study. Here's to all you ladies with large vaginas and especially to those who are happy with it. Cookie

From: Gmanam Sent: 7 Dec. 2004 Message 10 of 39

hi i have been a member for asometime now . and never did more than look at the picture but in my heart of hearts have wanted to experience fisting.. well i have finally done that last night my man had maybe not is his complete hand in me but it was very close.. he figures one or two more stretching sessions and i t will be there.. oh what a wonderful feeling. but then why am i telling you that.. lol.. anyway i just wanted to share it with you all.. sorry i don't have pictures to post of it but that too will come.
ilove this website.
Helen

From: qbertswench® Sent: 10 Dec. 2004 Message 11 of 39

hi cookie,

for qbert and i it was an accidental thing.. i was asleep and he was playing with me trying to get me awake and it happened. it took me a long while to get past the typical stereotype fears but when i did( thanks to the members of cindy and joe)..it was no holds barred

Qberts Wench®

From: qbertswench® Sent: 10 Dec. 2004 Message 12 of 39

oh ya and i was 34 when it happened. I wish my exhusband would have allowed me as much freedom to explore and experiment that qbert did... hey ex husband.. your loss buddy.

Qbert's Wench

From: cookie Sent: 10 Dec. 2004 Message 13 of 39

Thanks Q wench; it must have been a nice wakeup for you. I can imagine the wonderful feeling it also was for Q as his hand popped in. I agree ,your ex did have a great loss, at least Q is not making the same mistake hahaha. I am wondering if you had used large toys before the first fisting and had you ever thought of being fisted before it happened? It is sure nice hearing that some women have got past the stereotypical idea of smaller is better, at least as far as pussies go haha. Thanks again for answering , Cookie

From: Poptarty1 Sent: 14 Dec. 2004 Message 14 of 39

Hmmm...I was the one who wanted to try fisting in our relationship and had to drag my male partner into it. I had tried it before with female partners but wanted to try a male (larger) hand.

I didn't get really into wanting it more and more until after I had my child. I didn't want to tear during natural childbirth so I would have my male partner stretch me slowly with a few fingers and some lube and found I really liked the feeling of being stretched open.

It's almost to the point now that I like being fisted more than regular sex. Thank goodness for those lovely "tighten it back up" exercises!

My next goal is two hands...someday...someday.....

Anne

From: cookie Sent: 14 Dec. 2004 Message 15 of 39

Thanks for the reply Anne, I agree when you said you like fisting more than regular sex, "me too". If I want a tight place there are always other holes hahaha.Love to see pics if you have any. Thanks again, Cookie

From: Kneebone Sent: 15 Dec. 2004 Message 16 of 39

Helen, on some level there's the matter of stretching, but I've found that the hand position can be at least as important, if not more. For example, with my wife lying on her back, I can insert my hand thumb-side up. Or I can insert it thumb-side down. One analogy would be like trying to fit a key into a lock; sometimes you need to gently turn left and right until something just 'clicks', and that's where you ease it on in. Keeping the lube bottle open in the free hand, drizzling it on liberally, helps lotses too.

Having lots and lots of time, like an hour or two, sure beats trying to rush through it. And while certainly not advocating being cross-eyed drunk, perhaps a glass or two of wine...?

Also try breathing exercises. Have your partner do short, shallow breaths, and sync them with yours. Don't hyperventilate, of course. Think 'Tantric'. :-)

I'm sure you're already familiar with most if not all of these ideas. I'm just thinking out loud. ;-)

From: Kneebone Sent: 15 Dec. 2004 Message 17 of 39

Hi Anne,

While Kegels (the 'tighten it back up' exercises) definitely have merit, I find that my wife can feel quite snug even after a fisting marathon (1-2 hours). I might be mistaken, but I'm convinced that the constant contractions from all the orgasms is like strength and endurance training all rolled into one. Except they're involuntary, sorta like being hooked up to a Tens unit. *snicker* Naturally those muscles will have had quite the workout.

As for the 'two hands' goal, I totally hear you. My wife and I have managed this twice, maybe more. The most dramatic of this was when we were, um, ah, under the influence. Yeah yeah, that's the ticket! She was exceptionally horny that night. She can be vocal but once I got my second hand inside her, she surprised me that night with something to the effect of, "Ungh, yeah baby, stretch my cunt wide open, *grunt*" Cripes, that spurred me on even more than I already was.

One thing to try is to have the fister make longer and longer strokes with his (/her) fist, eventually working up to the point where the fist can be popped right out. Then try to work up to being able to pop the balled fist back in. This might take a little imagination, as the first attempts might require the fister to unfurl his (/her) hand, but the next level would be a sort of semi-fist, where the fingers are still knuckles but only partially uncurled. Try experimenting with various points between full fist and completely unfurled.

Oh, one more thing you can try is this: Go get some golfballs, at least 2 or 3. And some latex gloves. After the initial warmup (while wearing a glove), slip a golfball into the palm of the fister's hand, inside of the glove. After another 15-30 mins, slip another golfball into the palm of the fister's hand (inside the glove). It's a gradual increase in the size of the fist and makes it easier to pull downwards and stretch the pelvic floor.

On a bit of a tangent, I'm sure some women wonder what's in it for the men. The men get to do the fisting and the women get the orgasmic marathon. Sure, it can be quite a workout for the arm, but while one arm's working hard, the other arm's resting up. It pleases me to no end to work her and work her and work her. *siiiigh* :-)

From: Jimm Sent: 15 Dec. 2004 Message 18 of 39

Kegels are the best to keep the ability to tighten up for regular penile sex even after double fisting!

I agree the orgasms may help some, but continue the Kegels if that is important.

If you don't care about regular vaginal sex and enjoy fellatio or the penis along side the hand in the vagina is what you like, the Kegels are not very important.

From a woman's standpoint, if she is considering remarriage down the line, even if her husband enjoyes a loose opening, then she should do the Kegels to preserve her ability to tighten up on a penis.

From: Poptarty1 Sent: 18 Dec. 2004 Message 19 of 39

Thanks for the information and great ideas. We did use the idea of the golf balls and it did help loosen me up a bit more than before.

So yes,....oh YES...I did finally get a double fist pentration and it did take a long time to do but my partner was very willing to go slow. Of course it didn't hurt him to hear some of the noises and feel the wiggling I was doing in response to his hands.

Except, I swear we used almost a bottle of lube..lol...and even though we had covered the area with a towel it was soaked by the time we were through.

Sadly, I wasn't able to achieve orgasm with a double fist but I almost always can with a single hand.

After I had my full hysterectomy I found my orgasms were different (as I expected them to be) but when I am fisted lying face down and on my knees there is an increase in the intensity that is almost close to the way I used to orgasm before the surgery.

But, I did notice some looseness afterwards and still feel that even with Kegel's I am stil a bit loose. I talked to my gyno about it and he recommended a medically approved device that helps properly isolate the kegel muscle.

I posted about this in the Q&A section of this site also.

For now, we are going to take a few weeks break (if I can wait that long) from fisting and then try it again (and again). My most favorite part is the warming up phase before the whole fist slides deeper in. I love that stretching feeling and my partner loves to feel me open up as well.

Again, thanks for the wonderful comments everyone and also to the wonderous Cindy and awesome Joe for this great forum to share and learn about a spectacular activity!

Anne

From: Lorie Sent: 21 Dec. 2004 Message 20 of 39

Hi Cookie,
> Well your first question as to who intiated fisting. I had an interest and found the right partner to experiment with. the age: 36. It was a great experience and wouldn't change it for the world. My fisting partner and I broke up last year, so I miss the feeling and the experience. I have great sex with my new beau, but he is afraid of fisting because he has large hands ( and he does!) but we are up to 3 fingers(wink) good luck on your knowledge quest! Lorie

From: cookie Sent: 21 Dec. 2004 Message 21 of 39

Thanks Lori ( and all those who have responded);I am glad you have found another partner, hope you get that larger hand to fit soon . If you do ,some pics would be nice hahaha.From the answers so far it would seem that most fisting was initiated by the male partner although not by a large margin. Some of the answers diverged from the main subject but all are interesting.
Thanks again and Please keep up the replies , Cookie

From: drgwspup Sent: 22 Dec. 2004 Message 22 of 39

Well I (male) initated it with the two females I was able to completely fist. My ex was 14-15 years ago (she was 31 or 32 at the time) after our second child. While she orgasmed immediately, another attempt was unsuccessfuly and never tried again.

I almost fisted a woman I dated earlier this year. She was 52, never any kids. I simply kept adding fingers during an extended sex session and I almost made it which surprised me since she had never had kids. She had never gone that far but was very turned on by the experience. Had we kept dating, I have no doubt I would have gottten inside her. Also fingered her anally with four finger prior to anal sex. Loosest anal sex I've ever had. Weird feeling.

I showed my current g/f a video clip of fisting when she asked me my fantasy. She got very turned on and wanted to try immediately. a little alcohol helped her relax. I almost got in but she had a panic attack when it hurt a little. She said we'd never try it again but a couple weeks later she wanted to try and i got all the way in. We had a repeat performance about a week later. Looking forward to many more, but she has the fear of lack of tightness so I'm not sure how often we'll actually do it. It helps that she loves finger fucking in general, so the concept didn't seem that foreign to her.

From: cumberlandman Sent: 22 Dec. 2004 Message 23 of 39

My wife heard about it and wanted to try it. At first I was afraid to but she finally convinced me to try it it.
We use an ice cube rub down on her clit to shrink her back and it seems to work well and she likes
it. She was 35 when we first tried and had had 5 kids so it wasn't very difficult to do.
She also squirts like crazy when we fist, and I run my hand in and out just like a cock in regular sex. She swears she has an orgasm inside and one outside.
She goes crazy with the orgasms and loves anal sex too so I have the best of both worlds.
Another thing we do is she straddles my legs sitting on the sofa facing me, she in a kneeling position then I fist her and nibble her nipples too...she loves that too and it seems to drive her wild.
We've been fisting for 16 years now.
To each their own...just be careful not to drop the ice cube in there!

From: bottom1910 Sent: 22 Dec. 2004 Message 24 of 39

In my current relationship, I actually asked my partner to fist me. (Before him, I had only been fisted by one other partner, and he initiated it by showing me pictures, seeing that I was interested, and initiating the conversation.) As I said, I initiated it this time. We discussed gloves/no gloves ... whether I should be on my back or on all fours, etc. etc. We have done it with me on my back in his "gyno chair" and with me on my back in his bed. We have also done it once with me on all fours; that was the first time I have ever done it like that. It was also the most amazing time. I wrote a poem about it, actually, and sent it to him to try to help him "feel" how it felt for me. It was a great experience. Susan aka Bottom Dweller

From: bottom1910 Sent: 22 Dec. 2004 Message 25 of 39

P.S. I was 44 my first time; I am 46 now. The key to a great fisting: LOTS OF LUBE!! (And a little lub helps, too!! ) Susan aka Bottom Dweller

From: cookie Sent: 22 Dec. 2004 Message 26 of 39

To Susan (bottom) and Cumberland, thankyou, do you folks have any pics we could see? Also thanks to drgwspup. Cookie

From: kosh Sent: 23 Dec. 2004 Message 27 of 39

My wife and I have been involved in pussy stretching ever since we had our first child. She is 33, her pussy never quite recovered, and I was interested in fisting, so during our post-birth sexual encounters I steadily worked from 2 fingers to 3 to 4. I still have not been able to get the entire fist in, I guess because I have pretty large hands. Our main problem is what I like to call "stretcher's remorse"...my wife loves to be stretched, but then is very worried about her "loose pussy" after the fact. I love the feeling of her loose opening, but she does not - so I do not push her limits (too much :) ). Anyway, I am sure we will be successful - sooner than later. Our last session was the closest to date, and I have pics which I will post soon.

Sorry for being so lengthy...the short version is that I initiated it, and I will post pics soon.

From: WeirdLabs1 Sent: 23 Dec. 2004 Message 28 of 39

This message has been deleted by the author.

From: cookie Sent: 24 Dec. 2004 Message 29 of 39

To Weird; sounds like a perfect pussy to me.I think most women and their men who are members here would love that.What does she mean by "that kind of woman?"As long as she is with you you both should be happy, unless she's thinking of trading you in, hahahaha.I don't think her pussy will ever become a small tight one again without surgical intervention, hope she gets over the tight pussy syndrome (TPS)soon.
Just my opinion , Cookie

From: WeirdLabs1 Sent: 24 Dec. 2004 Message 30 of 39

This message has been deleted by the author.

From: Jimm Sent: 24 Dec. 2004 Message 31 of 39

"I need some help to understand the psycological aspects of this problem.."
Love is not just orgasms and sexual stimulation.

Take Cindy and Joe for example: Joe is extremely turned on by the sexual aspects, but Cindy loves Joe because "Joe TRULY LOVES Cindy" -- in EVERY WAY -- and she wants to make him happy. A woman's psychology is that she will give herself to her man if their love and respect for each other is even STRONGER than their sexuality.

Now -- is the Season of Giving, Love, and Kindness. That is what the psychology of a lasting relationship requires. Love her in "every way" and she will respond.

Merry Christhmas (Period extending from Dec. 24 to Jan. 6)

(Let this Sseason last year round) :)

From: qbertswench® Sent: 26 Dec. 2004 Message 32 of 39

Ahh cookie.. no i hadnt used large toys and had no idea about fisting didnt even know it was possible or that a pussy could take more than just a cock. i was pretty nieve as far as sex goes awe hell im gonna admit i had never even masturbated until i was 32 and i didnt even own a toy or ever have anything other than a cock used on me until shortly after that time.. i didnt even know what had happened that day but i sure knew it was an awesome feeling. a day or two later when i got around to getting up the nerve to ask qbert what had happened, he told me what had caused that marvoulous feeling . It was at that point that bells and alarms went off and I freaked out about it then it took months before i could get relaxed and over the fear enought to be able to accomplish it again. After that it took a good yr or so before i could pretty much accomplish it anytime i am in the mood for it but i still subconciously have issues with fears at times. When that happens i come here to this group and that usually pushes that helps quieten down my subconcious fears!

Qbert's Wench®

From: KnightOwl-J Sent: 29 Dec. 2004 Message 33 of 39

I (male) instigated it in our relationship over a decade ago, in our early 20's. I have been attracted to "large-capacity" pussy since I became sexually active, and when I first saw a picture of fisting a few years ago, it blew me away. That was exactly what I loved, but didn't know it existed (God bless the internet)! My experience sounds kind of like a cross between WeirdLab's and QBertsWench's. However, we've not yet accomplished a full fist, though we've been very close without trying really hard. From the beginning, I've introduced other toys with my cock during sex - lately working up to numerous, larger toys. She enjoys these "stuffings" as much as anything, so she's in no hurry to be fully fisted, so I don't push her too hard. I enjoy stuffing her anyway, and it seems to be easier for her to take all those toys, though the overall size seems even larger than my hand. We'll keep trying though, when the time feels right. She doesn't do any stretching on her own (unfortunately) - only when we're together - so the progress is faily slow. She says it doesn't really excite her unless I do it to her. Anyone else ever hear anything like that? Though she's never mentioned a concern about getting too loose, over the years she has exhibitted the "good girl" syndrome and been very sexually naive, which I've had to overcome whenever introducing her to something new. Again, thanks to the net, I can now prove that something like this isn't so weird or evil, and I'm not a complete sicko for liking it. ;-) However, I sense that she sometimes gets a little tense or anxious when we try to reach a new level, which keeps her from relaxing enough. But, she's kept an open mind about it, and maybe in time she'll have a "big and loose" pussy like WeirdLabs's woman (OK, so I'm a little jealous ;-) ). I'm also anxious to find out if a fisting will get her off like so many of the women in this group. That would be great!
FYI - I recently posted (3) photos of her/us in this album - enjoy, and let me know what you think. Experienced thoughts & advice are always welcome.
http://groups.msn.com/CindyAndJoePublic/wifesslitbeforeandafter.msnw?Page=Last&pps=k

From: qbertswench® Sent: 30 Dec. 2004 Message 34 of 39

hi j_dub_ss,

i have some food for thought on the problem you mentioned about your wife not doing stretching on her own and not being excited by it unless you are doing ti to here.. i have the same problem as her.. i can masturbate myslef and stretch myself but its not as satisfying if my partner does it to me.. i am one of those women who love to be pushed into the point of oblvion when having sex.. i like to go so far over the edge i am can not even hear or speak or see.. in other words in my mind just into this trance like state...and that is one of the greatest things ive ever experienced.. If i do it to myself its too predictable.. i know what is going to happen i know when to do it and i know what it will feel like.. and i have to concentrate also on what im doing to stimulate myself. if my partner is the one who is using toys, hand. what ever on me then i am free to just lay back and enjoy the total experience without trying to keep prescense of mind to operate the toys. i would think its like from a guys perspective.. if you had a choice of masturbating yourself or laying back and getting your cock sucked by a woman for as long as you wanted,with no expectations for you to perform anything on her .. i am pretty sure most men would opt for the woman to give them a blow job. I also like my partner there in the room. it just seems clinical and generic without a waiting willing cock just within reach .
as far as the tension and anxiousness when trying to acchieve a new level.. i have the same problem. there too.. for me its the wanting it, wanting to please and excite my partner, and the fear that if i cant do it i will be letting him down as well as letting myself down. i bet shes an over achiever in other areas of her life like me. At any rate ive written prob one of hte longest posts yet and i hope ive been of some help..

Qbert's Wench®

PS.. once she has the first orgasm from fisting.. she will be hooked! Its awesome!

From: KnightOwl-J Sent: 30 Dec. 2004 Message 35 of 39

Hi Qbert's Wench,
Thank you for taking the time to write all that. It sounds like you have many of the same feelings as my wife, so it's nice to get your sincere thoughts. I'm certain we can achieve a full fist with a little more effort, but I'm only hopeful that she will experience the "awesome" orgasm I've read so much about.
As for yourself, try not to let fear enter into such a special event and smother the potential pleasure. I doubt your partner would let a minor "setback" ruin a good thing. I've already learned that you can't do everything every time, but I'm confident that you can reach almost any goal, given the time & desire. I think I hear you clear enough to know that you have the desire, which is great. I suspect that for most guys (me included), the desire alone counts for alot and adds immensely to a woman's sexiness! Plus, it's not like the sex isn't any good just because you didn't accomplish all that you had planned (this time). There are always things you can do to keep it erotic & intense. So, you should really rest easier next time you feel an uncomfortable anxiety. Although I understand your feelings, I think you (like my wife) are worrying without justification, when you really just need to relax and let your partner coax you to oblivion! ;-)
Thanks again!

From: m-a-u-m Sent: 3 Jan. 2005 Message 36 of 39

the first time I got my partners full hand inside I was 38 and it just happend. He was fingering me first with 2 fingers and then 1 more and then he tried all his fingers. This always makes me very very horny and lubricated. Then I started to push against his hand and before we knew it his hand was inside me. I cried out to stop moving so I could adjust to the feeling before he moved his hand inside me. That did it for me and I had a fantastic orgasm. Since then I am absolutly adicted to fisting

From: ang® Sent: 3 Jan. 2005 Message 37 of 39

Hi ya j-dubb-ss,

LOL yes i know in my brain that i cant achieve everything all at once.. however the flip side of that coin is that my brain keeps telling me anything is possible as long as i want it bad enough.. joes motto may be bigger is always better.. mine is... i want it. i want it all.. and i shoulda accomplished this yesterday lol. .. lets do it already. It has been extremely difficult for me to try and hold back and go slowly when i am in the frame of mind to get fisted. Its such an overwhelming satisfying experience that i want to keep going and going and going and going.. poor qberts left scratchin his head wonderin if he should take some vitamins.

Qbert's Wench®

From: ang® Sent: 4 Jan. 2005 Message 38 of 39

i feel i should probably clarify the rant i had in the middle of the last post .. in case you haven't figured this out yet... i am obsessive-complusive and am bi polar which is the reason for my motto i want it, i want it all and i shoulda accomplished it yesterday .. and lets do it already!

Qbert's Wench®

From: KnightOwl-J Sent: 4 Jan. 2005 Message 39 of 39

Qbert's Wench,
LOL! That's cute, and I don't see anything especially wrong with your motto - it exudes determination, and that's usually a good thing. Thanks for sharing your feelings, and have a great new year!