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Message: Define SLUT!!!!

From: Shy Girl Freak Sent: 23 Aug. 2002 Message 1 of 13

Okay there is something I have to get off my chest.Sorta speak! I have heard the term slut used very loosely on sites like this. I really can not help to ponder why a woman is a slut if she likes sex or bizarre sex! Why does that automatically make her a slut for liking and getting off on what she wants to do with her body?? I do not classify that as being a slut.Although I do realize that there are some woman out there who like to be called a slut and get off on that alone but I am not one of them and I know several other ladies here that also are not. I feel women get turned off of sites like this, I mean to post because of comments like that. I mean if your already classified as a slut why even bother. There are women out there who are closet cases and sometimes sites like this can be a real outlet for them to know it is okay to like what they choose and not to be made fun of when they get here. I personally do not care as I express myself no matter what but some consideration would be nice here also. I have never seen Cindy or Joe use those words to describe anyone on here.So why do others have to lose respect and turn great women memebers away by talking like some PIG!!! I am sorry but you know this really pisses me off. I am a well educated woman and I like to do what I choose that does not make me a slut. I mean the definition of slut is one who has many sex partners and does not like committment to be exact. Many people on here are with partners not single. Although again I realize that there are single men on here looking but talking like that may keep you looking for a long time. I would like to hear from more women members not have them chased away by ignorance because they feel, they again have been judged or they are doing something taboo don't you think women have long had these stigmatisms and should break free of the mold. I sure do!!! Just my opinion.!!!

From: Kayser Soze Sent: 23 Aug. 2002 Message 2 of 13

I agree with you totally, and I personally never use the word. I think it is as derogatory as many racial slurs. I think most men (especially in this group) would agree with me.

I guess when you see some jackass write that... just consider the source.

Soze

From: nixoff Sent: 24 Aug. 2002 Message 3 of 13

Glad to hear more decent folks speak out against that (and perhaps other) unnecessarily derogatory word.

Yours in complete agreement.
nixoff

From: Joe Sent: 24 Aug. 2002 Message 4 of 13

Dear Shy Girl Freak,

I'm glad you posted your message.

I think that the use of words like "slut" and "bitch" usually implies that the person who is using these words sees women basically as sex objects. Women can elect to ignore any guy who has this stupid attitude but it's still a sad situation.

Unless the guy sees the light of day he's doomed to never experience how wonderful it is to have an open and honest relationship with a woman he can love and respect for being a wonderful person and a wonderful sexual partner.

Unless the guy sees the light of day he tends to reinforce this destructive attitude among his male friends and co-workers and other acquaintances, and even his male children if he has any, so the problem continues from generation to generation.

Unless the guy sees the light of day he's not of much use as a husband or lover, reducing the number of acceptable mates available for women, with the result that some woman may even try to live with him but without getting much happiness out of it.

It's true that some couples who are loving and respect each other like to "talk dirty" in intimate situations, and that's OK if that's what turns them on. But I don't think that this private use of these words can justify their use in public. For example, Aldonze calls his girls his "bitches", and when criticized for that he retorts that they like to be called bitches. Maybe they like to be called bitches in private but I still think it is demeaning and improper of him to call them bitches in public, and says a lot about what kind of person he is.

To get back to the use of words like "slut" here at "Cindy and Joe", it's obvious that Cindy and I don't like it, but we've chosen not to censor messages that are demeaning toward women because we think education is better than censorship. On the other hand, I should have posted an "educational message" on the thread where a member used the word "slut" recently, and I'll do that now.

Joe

From: Shy Girl Freak Sent: 24 Aug. 2002 Message 5 of 13

Thankyou one and all for responding to my post. i once again will say that this is only my opinion and how I feel but there ae others here on this site that do feel the same. I understand totally about censorship and respect that I just had to post my opinion and hope that people can think on it and see the light. Many relationships out there are held back by stigmatisms in life. I feel if there were less and people could be more responsive to what they need and desire we would have a lot less divorces or relationship breakdowns. I mean i do believe there is someone for everyone but respect is definately the key here. I just do not think that a woman who likes to get her freak on should be classified as something less than she is. It is demeaning and imoral in my light. But enough of that. I am impressed with your site and the honesty I have found here. And I also like to have dirty talk to but that is whne I am playing that role but never amd I a slut. or else I have a heavy frying pan beside the bed and hubby would get it..LOL But bitch now and then is fine.LOL

From: buz Sent: 24 Aug. 2002 Message 6 of 13

I would totally agree with shy girls sentiments in her letter. I have just recently joined the community hoping to find like minded people who enjoy pussy stretching and fisting as part of a loving relationship and can use these pages to further their enjoyment by mutual and benificial exchange of views.
Just because a woman enjoys the sensations of having her pussy opened to its extremes during lovemaking does'nt give any man (or woman) the right to assume that she is a slut, bitch or whatever, she is simply doing something that gives her great pleasure.
I also agree with shy lady that the site should be used to encourage ladies who are curious to try stretching. My own wife has become more relaxed over her own stretching after seeing on the site that she is not alone in enjoying this variation in our love making. This knowledge has relaxed her so much she can now stretch further than ever before. As it happens she hates being called dirty names during lovemaking. Yet I am in touch through this site with a lovely lady who says she enjoys being called a slut while making love. This my friends is the wonderful variation of life!

From: MnFisterMister Sent: 26 Aug. 2002 Message 7 of 13

I would have to say the word "slut" is a very dirty word to use and agree that using it is like a racial slur. My take on the subject is that everyone has needs, and if they are a responcible adult and everything is in consent, they have a right to do anything they want to. Women can do anything they want to in my book.

From: creek188 Sent: 28 Aug. 2002 Message 8 of 13

if i was to say i want to fuck ur brains out with a 2 ' dildo does that mean i think ur a slut? FUN maybe...challenging...definitely...slut never!!
i'm a 6' m, 150lbs, adventerous, say hi

From: Joe Sent: 28 Aug. 2002 Message 9 of 13

Creek188,

> "if i was to say i want to fuck ur brains out with a 2 ' dildo ..."

I'm wondering who you're contemplating saying this to. If it's to your partner with whom you have a good loving relationship, and if that's the kind of thing she likes to hear, then OK. Otherwise it sounds like you just have a foul mouth and that you too are showing a lack of understanding and respect for women.

Women (at least most of them) don't focus on sex like we men do. Women want to be loved and respected, and for them the sex is just a nice way of getting the love and respect confirmed.

There are some women who focus on sex just like men, but that's often a sign that they have emotional problems. I once had a relationship with a woman like that. The sex was great, but she was too neurotic to be able to have a normal loving relationship, and it was a heartbreaking experience for me.

Joe

From: Blitzppp Sent: 30 Aug. 2002 Message 10 of 13

Joe,

Good post!

You understand female psychology. It amazes me that so many men don't know what you said!

Like you said, most women are wanting the true respect and attention that shows you care about their feelings. Even sex is secondary. I find that women want to help you if you respect them and treat them like a lady. "Slut" will get you nowhere... unless like you say, that woman is neurotic or even psychotic. Very few women are "sluts".

Maurice Chevalier was "right on" when he sang: "Thank Heaven for Little Girls. They grow up in the most delightful way... etc..."

If you find a true "slut"... she didn't grow up like the song! Something happened to her development. She is a question mark and an exception. To me this exception is a little scary to be around... when a woman likes to be a "slut" and doesn't respond to "true respect and affection". She then becomes a question mark and I leave her alone.

From: Shy Girl Freak Sent: 30 Aug. 2002 Message 11 of 13

Okay,
This is begging me to come and say something. I tried last night but was unable to post here for some weird reason. First off I would like to address Creek, You say that like your really making a point in your comment. If i was into being fucked with a 2' cock then i guess I would find that stimulating but to me again it is like a slpapin the face. I may want something big in my pussy because it feels good not necessarily to be looked on in the light you make it sound to be. (if that makes sense). Again each to their own but I have to agree with JOE when he replied to your message and to blitz.. I mean you must learn to be a freind and earn trust from a woman not just approach her and think that she will like certain things because it turns you on.
There were many things I do now with my hubby that I would not do when we first met. Too many men look at woman like some big hole to fufill them and that they are expected to like it because the man does. I do not agree. if it was not for the fact that my hubby and I have good communication and he is not only my friend but my best freind I can tell him anything ,I never would of let him fist me at all.\Once again it came down to the fact of the way people look and talk about girls and people that do those sort of things!!
All I am saying really ,is respect women and try to show them in a positive light they like to hear things but not always what a good fuck they are and etc. When blitz said there is a problem with a girl that is naturally a slut and he stays away I have to agree. I mean this is usually something that stems from other sexual issues such as rape or low self esteem and self respect for ones self and body. Many men would do so much better if they could treat a lady as one ,and make her feel conmfortable instead of the hunted meat for the evening. Just my opinion. But I am a woman non the less and gettin freaky is something I do cause I simply like it and want to ,not cause it is expected from me. In my line of work and my presence in the community I am the last person that would ever be thought to do anything like what I do. We are everywhere and anywhere but to love women as a whole not a hole is the difficult thing for many men. Sincerely SHY!!!

From: Sun Sent: 18 Sep. 2002 Message 12 of 13

Very well put! Every woman deserves to be treated respectfully in public & public groups. What the two or more of you do behind closed doors is fine.

Everything has its place and time. This is not the place to degrade a person. We are all suppose to be adults, not 15-18 year old boys. Lets talk and discuss topics like adults.

Sundancer13

From: Shy Girl Freak Sent: 18 Sep. 2002 Message 13 of 13

Thankyou, Sun for your post. I am glad that someone understand where I am coming from and maybe this will enlighten some and maybe it will not either way I am glad I brought up the subject it was nice to see many men also respond to it. SHY