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Message:
A fetish?
From: Thomas Ghia Sent: 5 June 2002 Message 1 of 10
Iīd like to know your opinion on whether fisting/stretching should be considered a fetish. By fetish I mean a sex practice that is pleasant mostly for psychological reasons. Take clitoral stimulation, for example: itīs pleasant because physiological reasons. Now take dressing fetishes: thereīs no physical reason a woman should have better orgasms from dressing, say, like a nurse. To what extent do you think stretching could be considered a fetish? Maybe thatīs a question for Zappaz (pity heīs not around). I hope I made myself clear :)
Thanks for your community!
From: Joe Sent: 6 June 2002 Message 2 of 10
Thomas Ghia,
Strangely enough this has been discussed a bit here once before, and even more strangely it was actually Zappaz who got me going on the subject:
http://cindyandjoearchive.com/Messages/Cat02/msg00152.htm
I don't know if this answers your question. To me vaginal fisting is not a fetish, it's just better-than-average sex.
Joe
From: Blitzppp Sent: 6 June 2002 Message 3 of 10
I do not believe you can seperate psychological and physiological. Sex as an activity, or as a fetish is mostly above the ears.
Ever have a "Wet Dream"?
From: Kayser Soze Sent: 6 June 2002 Message 4 of 10
Not to be "technical" but a fetish is really an object or bodily part whos real or fantasied presence is psychologically NECESSARY for sexual gratification. Usually fetishes are described as an object of fixation that is so intense that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.
I think many people get the term fetish confused with "kinky activity". Anything can be a fetish really, it all depends on you. If you need to have your fist inside someone's vagina, or vica verca, to orgasm, then yeah, sounds like a fetish to me. Same would apply if you had to have a ham sandwich in your hand.
Remember, being sexually aroused, either physiologically or psychologially, does not define a fetish, but rather a healthy libdio and an active imagination. It's all about getting in the mood.
SoZe
From: Blitzppp Sent: 7 June 2002 Message 5 of 10
Kayser,
To some people your definition is correct.
I also find people using statements like "Metro Plus Fetish for film-making" and many other non-sexual meanings, where the compulsive or obsessive meaning of the word that Joe listed is used.
Even with sexual connotations, many now use the word to simply mean driven or a having a compulsive or even obsessive predilection for a given activity.
I think the definitions that Joe posted earlier give a wide range of interpretation to the meaning of the word.
Also, Zappaz's thought that this is changing and evolving is relevant.
Personally, I would like people to use any definition they are comfortable with, and calling our "activity" a fetish is ok with me.
From: Kayser Soze Sent: 7 June 2002 Message 6 of 10
Actually it wasn't so much MY definition, that's the medical field's definition
SoZe
From: P and M Sent: 7 June 2002 Message 7 of 10
This is my answer to the original question rather than adding to the debate that has ensued, as to the definition of a fetish.
As a female I can most definitely say that fisting and stretching is far more physical than mental.
When I get a large enough object inserted and feel the stretch, there is no way I can stop myself from coming. If I don't pull it out then I won't stop coming. It is most very definitely on the physical level that I achieve my orgasms through fisting and stretching.
Mandy
From: Joe Sent: 7 June 2002 Message 8 of 10
That's an interesting point, Mandy. You're right that for women vaginal fisting is more of a physical thing, while for men it's more of a "mind" thing.
So if you base your definition of fetish on whether the activity is physical or not (and I don't know if that's the correct definition) then you would have to conclude that vaginal fisting is a half-fetish! :-)
Joe
From: Jimm Sent: 8 June 2002 Message 9 of 10
This seems an interesting concept to call our activity a "half-fetish". I love the humor that permeates the idea; congratulations Joe.
For myself it matters not whether vaginal stretching-fisting is called an activity or a fetish.
However, I only want the activity to be classified as a standard sexual activity that is mutually erotic and loving.
Certainly in my opinion it must never be classified as an activity that is sadistic, forced, or in any way physically or mentally injurious to one or both of the participants.
Cindy and Joe have promoted the mutually erotic aspects of this, and must both be congratulated on their loving devotion to this Community, each other, and our activity.
From: Joe Sent: 8 June 2002 Message 10 of 10
> Cindy and Joe have promoted the mutually erotic aspects of this, and must both be congratulated on their loving devotion to this Community, each other, and our activity.
Wow, thanks, you just made our day! :-)
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